A Tumultuous Affair
by Deathangel113
Summary: Nothing was ever simple. There was always something happening. There was always life and death. There was ruin. It was a storm that one could only brace themself against.
1. Chapter One: Faith

**Summary: Nothing was ever simple. There was always something happening. There was always life and death. There was ruin. It was a storm that one could only brace themself against.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

_Author's Note: This is a response to the challenge "120 Theme Ficlets by DamnBlackHeart on Lunaescence Archives._

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Chapter One: Faith

She needed to believe. She had to hope that one day she would find the answer, that she would be able to break the curse. If she didn't then he would be taken away. He would be locked away within that room if he remained possessed and she would loose him forever.

If she lost faith, then all that was left was the darkness that was slowly consuming her. The thought of falling was almost as terrifying as the thought of loosing him.

To fall would bring about the end of so much. There would be no one to stop Akito from locking all of the cursed away, from keeping them to herself. There would be no one to break the curse. If she was lost, then they would be trapped. They would be trapped forever. The very thought caused her blood to freeze and her heart to ache. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if that happened. It would mean that she had failed them.

Akito had said that she didn't belong, that she had no place with the Sohma family. The woman was wrong. She had a place. She knew that she had a place. There was a reason that Shigure and Yuki had found her that night. There was a reason that she had been introduced into their lives and they into hers. Nothing ever just happened. There was a reason for everything. The Sohma family had been cursed for a reason. She had been born for a reason. She had been born to end the curse.

The entire zodiac had gathered and she stood with them. Whether she was wanted or not, she would stand firm. She wouldn't abandon them. She couldn't abandon them.

The wish was gone now. It had been replaced by the belief that this curse would be broken. There were no more maybes. There were no more ifs. There were no more colorful fantasies of what life would be like if they were normal. There was only a goal now and she was driven to accomplish it, no matter what the price.

Time was not on her side, but she knew that she would break the curse. It was very clear to her that she would even if the odds had been stacked against her. This was what she was meant to do. She would bring an end to the darkness that plagued their family. She would find a way, even if there was no obvious answer to be found. Every curse had a way that it could be broken and she was certain that this one did too.

The Sohma family had lost faith. She could see it in their eyes. They had lived with the curse for so long that they could no longer see the light at the end of the road. They could no longer think of the possibility that they might be free. The curse had condemned them and they had settled themselves to remain possessed.

Rin, was the only exception. The woman gave her greater hope that maybe all was not lost. She sought an end to the curse and it renewed her faith, made her remember that this was possible. The both of them were searching and if she should fail, Rin would continue on.

There was very little that she had. There was too much hindering her path to find the end. She needed to maintain her faith, though, that this banquet would be the last.


	2. Chapter Two: Dirge

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Two: Dirge

What he had done had been wrong, cruel. He had been a foolish child to have said such words to his grandfather. If it were possible, he would go back and accept his grandfather's gift and perhaps be the grandson that he should have been. The past could not be changed. He could only continue to wish that he had understood as a child what he now did as an adult.

There was nothing that he could do now to make better what he had done. His grandfather was dead and was now beyond his grasp. It was too late.

He had tried to seek forgiveness through Kyo. The boy had been left abandoned and there had been little hope for him since he was cursed by the spirit of the cat. He had managed to do some good and make himself feel better that he had not turned away from him. Kyo was not his grandfather though. Kyo could not give him the forgiveness that he so desperately desired. Perhaps, that was why he had started writing.

It had begun as a short note that he had written as a young adult, when he had first realized his folly. The three year anniversary of his grandfather's death had come and gone and he was angry. No one was mourning the man that had shown kindness even when he had been caged. No one honored the fact that he had existed. They had forgotten him.

Rather than make this fact known, he had written an apology to his grandfather. It was short, barely filling a page. He had thought to bring it to his grandfather's grave, but it was a frightening prospect and instead he hid it away in a box.

Since that day he found himself writing on a daily basis. Some were tiny scraps that contained apologies for how he had acted. Each had different words, but it was the same apology. Most were poems about his grandfather. Though, he had only met the man once, he wrote of his kindness. After he had met Kyo, he had begun to hypothesize as to what kind of man his grandfather had been.

The apologies faded away and were replaced by the many poems that he wrote about a man he barely knew.

There were times when he could think of nothing to write down on paper. On those days he would go to the elders of the family and question them about his grandfather and his life before he was locked away. He would ask the elder servants about how he had lived when he was finally trapped within that room. They were all reluctant to answer him at first, but a smile and a few kind words crumbled the walls. After he had listened to them, he would return home and transformed what he had learned into poetry, commemorations to that kind, cursed man. When he was finished, he would place each page within the box.

There were hundreds of poems now, maybe thousands; dirges to the man that he had scorned.

Whenever he would look at the box, he would think to bring it to his grandfather's grave. He never did. The box was still part empty and he needed to finish filling it. There were many more poems to write about that man with the kind, sad smile.


	3. Chapter Three: Dead End

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Three: Dead End

How did she get here? Years ago, this would have never mattered to her, finding an end to the curse would have meant nothing to her. When did she allow herself to fall then?

There had been a time when she had been happy, a time when she had been truly happy. There had been a time when there had been no illusion, no like there had been with her parents. There had been truth. There had been love. She should not have ended up here. Maybe if she had remained with Haru this would not have happened.

Here, in this dark room, she could only think of questions. She could only reflect. The thoughts that had once prevailed in her mind no longer existed. They had no place. There was no longer any need for them.

What could she do now aside from sitting here? She could no longer pursue possible ways to free herself and Haru from the curse. No longer, could she actively protect Haru. For a time, he would be safe. Eventually, though, Akito would focus his attention on Haru and she would not be there to intervene. She could not make sure that he was safe.

Why did she not remain with Haru? Why had she not remained blissfully unaware of anything more than the two of them? Why had she allowed Akito to tear them apart? If she had not been hurt none of this would have happened. She could have remained happy with Haru.

The "accident" had happened though. She had been distorted more than she already was. Everything had been ruined. There was no going back now. She couldn't return to him. She couldn't return to the time when she felt whole.

Why hadn't she just died after the fall? Had she not been high enough? Had Akito not pushed her hard enough? Why hadn't this just ended? It might have been better if it had.

In a way though, it had. She no longer existed in a sense. Of course, she never really had. She had no real purpose except to serve as the vessel for the horse spirit. A truly pointless existence.

It would have been better if she and all those others that had carried the curse had been killed at birth. But that might have brought vengeance from the heavens. She was certain that was the only reason that they had been killed, aside from the need to not have to worry about a child being cursed for at least one generation.

She sighed heavily and slowly closed her eyes. The little light that had been in the room was replaced by utter darkness. Why had she listened to that woman? Why had she tried to take that box? Of course the answer wouldn't be within it. That would have been too simple. She had been struck before, but now...

Opening her eyes, she examined the room that she sat within. This cage was meant for the cat, meant for Kyo. Now, it belonged to her too. Her road had reached its rocky end and she could do nothing more. Vaguely, she wondered if this dead end would be permanent.


	4. Chapter Four: Sorrow

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Four: Sorrow

Lightly, he brushed his fingertips over her face. There was a smile on her lips. It was beautiful, perfect, that and everything more that she was. He traced the contours of her face. Pausing, his fingertips hovered just above the image. She was happy then and she was happy now. He opened the desk drawer and put the picture away. Locking it, after the drawer was closed again, he learned back in his chair.

Her image was gone from the bookshelf beside his desk. The smile that once greeted him each morning and bid him farewell was gone, hidden away with the rest of the past.

He found it harder to look at her now though, he would still pull one of her pictured out from time to time. Every now and then, he would stare at her face and reflect on the short time that they had shared together. He would imagine what their life could have been like together, wonder how many kids they would have had, imagined the love that would grow each day. Then, the pain in his chest would remind him of the reality of the situation and he would put her away.

It hurt too much to think of such things. It hurt too much to think of what might have been.

The fault was his though. He should have pushed her away when he first realized that he was falling love with her. Relationships were not permitted for him. Akito would not have allowed them to be together and he had known that. Why he had even thought that they might be together, that Akito would bless their marriage was beyond him.

It was his fault and she had blamed herself. That beautiful smile was lost as she sank further into despair. If only he could have gone back and changed it all... In a way though, he had. He had erased her memories. He had given her a second chance. He had brought that smile back even though it had torn him apart to do so.

She was happy now. Now, she had a husband and he could only hope that the man cherished her as much as he had.

He could still picture her when eh had run into her by chance. She was pregnant with hers and her husband's first child. How lovely she was. She was glowing and he felt the faintest jealousy that it was not their child that she was carrying. Then, she was gone and he could only continue on his way. That was all that he could do.

If he had the chance to go back he knew that he would be unable to change anything, even if he wished that he had. To spend another treasured moment with her would be the greatest gift, even if it only ended in heartache again.

She was worth it. He could, and had been, living with a bleeding heart and he would continue to do so if it insured her happiness.

_"When the snow melts, what does it become?"_

Only Kanna was worth the sorrow.


	5. Chapter Five: Red

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Five: Red

He slid his hands down the sides of his coat, smoothing out any wrinkles that might be there. After repeating the action several more times, he then turned and examined his reflection in the mirror. Nothing was out of place. He was, for all intensive purposes, perfection. Turning, he strode from the shop and, after locking the door to his shop, down the street.

His red coat swished around his ankles. Sometimes, a passing breeze caught the fabric and fanned it out around him before releasing it.

The corners of his lips curved up as he neared two girls. They were both eying him and whispering between themselves. A grin caused them both to start giggling. They were lovely girls. Mine would enjoy dressing them if they ever came to his shop. He didn't stop to give them one of the advertizements that he carried. Instead, he left them behind him.

It was a beautiful day today. The sun's rays caressed him, warming him. He felt strong, powerful. AS he passed those others on the street, he drew their gazes to him. Their whispers followed him, the awed and envious voices causing his pride to swell. He was great, an awesome figure.

He came to a stop at a crosswalk. The traffic on the street was heavy. His attention turned to the sleeved of his coat and he toyed with it.

Red. He adored the color. It was rich, romantic, god-like. It was a symbol of his greatness. To wear anything else would be foolish.

If only his school's uniform had bore the color. He was certain that everyone would have striven to be magnificent with the help of its inspiration. Perhaps Hatori would have ended up less a bore. The man was far too serious. He would have to sew him something.

The light turned and he crossed the street with the rest of the crowd. He found himself listening to the people talk around him. Their words were ignored, their voices being of much more interest to him. They were all so unique and together they sounded so very musical. If only he possessed the ability to compose music. Unfortunately, that was a gift that he had not been bestowed. Perhaps Momiji could create something for him. His young cousin could certainly compose something brilliant. He started to hum quietly to himself. Those around him ignored the tune, not that he would have minded the attention.

Yes, there were times that he did mind the attention, that he did mind when people laid eyes on him. Those were periods when he was at his most vulnerable. It occurred infrequently, but always left him feeling weak and pathetic.

Mine was the only exception. She had bore witness to those dark times and had lingered by his side. The woman was lovely, the true embodiment of passion. He would not have believed that if someone had told him that years ago. Now, he could not believe that he could see her as anything less than what she was. The woman, Mine, was like the color red. Unlike the coat he wore, he had to fight to keep her, to hold on to her passion.

It was not difficult though. After all, he was great and was more than capable of keeping what was his. To do anything less would be blasphemy.


	6. Chapter Six: Black

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Six: Black

Black. He had always associated that shade with death, mourning, and several more negative things. It was what consumed his nightmares, swallowing him and trying to consume his soul. He would always wake in a cold sweat, fearful of the night that pressed around him. It was suffocating.

His clothes had been black when he had attended his mother's funeral. The day had been laden with sadness, but there had been hatred as well. They had blamed him. They had all blamed him. It had been his fault that his mother, his caretaker, was dead. He could still hear their whispers. He could still feel their accusing stares. She had been driven to death because of him.

It was strange, but on that day he had not felt sad. He didn't remember actually mourning the fact that his mother had died. Had he even been sad? All that he could remember was the overwhelming sense of abandonment. The one person who had taken care of him was gone and his father had left him, not caring about what might happen to him. He was alone.

That day when he had gone to the cemetery, he had worn black again. They had all clothed themselves in th color of mourning. Tohru's dress was simple, dark, black. He had never seen her wear the shade before and he had not helped but noticed how she had appeared strange, but fragile at the same time. That day would be one that he would never forget. It was on that day that he had learned that what he had always believed was an illusion.

Never before had he considered that black might hold another meaning than what he had known. Never before had he paused to see the light within it. Perhaps he had been blinded and, in a way, he supposed that he was. He had allowed himself to be consumed by his demons, never considering what else might lay in the inky blackness when he was staring straight at it.

It was at the funeral that he had been given a second chance at life. It was there that he had met Kazuma, a man clothed in the black vestments of mourning, and had accepted the hand that had been offered to him.

The same dark raiment adorned Sakihana Jima. He would admit that she disturbed him at times, especially when she seemed to be reaching his every thought and seeing his every secret. Her doing so would not have surprised him though. She was Tohru's friend and aside from creeping him out every now and then, he had nothing bad to say or think of her. Sakihana was a support for Tohru and made him envious of the woman, but made him realize that he had much to do to prove his worthiness for Tohru. Both she and that damn Yankee had made that fact painfully clear.

There was a light, he supposed, within the black. That too, could very well be an illusion. He didn't care too much though. A balance had been found because of that day Tohru had opened his eyes and he was content to leave things as they were, both the good and the bad.


	7. Chapter Seven: Enemies

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Seven: Enemies

He was pathetic. He was useless. He was nothing more than a stupid ox.

It was all very infuriating. What did they know? Nothing. They only judged him because of the curse. They only judged him because the spirit of the ox had chosen to reside within him. It was not his fault. It was not as though he had been given a choice in the matter. He knew that if he had been born possessed with any of the other spirits, except for the cat, or if he had been born normal that they would not speak about him in such a way. The only reason that they did was because the rat had ridden on the cow and had entered the banquet first.

That stupid ox.

Something that had happened thousands of years ago could not be changed though. So he just had to sit there and listen to it like a good little boy. It was what was expected of him. After all, children had no right to speak against their elders.

He could speak out against the one who had done this to him though. That damn rat. Even when he saw him though, that perfect creature, he could not remain angry with him. Maybe if Yuki had not listened, had not questioned as to whether or not he was actually stupid he could have let his anger explore more than it had. As it was though, Yuki had proven himself to be a better person and he was left to stew on the fact that someone did not see him as a stupid ox.

What was left then? The man who should have been his enemy proved himself to not be. In another life perhaps, the spirits that possessed himself and Yuki would find themselves at war in other hosts. Despite this peace, this friendship between himself and Yuki, he was still angry.

The anger was overwhelming. After several attacks, he managed to find his ways to control it, to keep it tucked away. It had helped that he had found Rin. She calmed him though, she never seemed to realize that. Then she was gone and he found that he had to control that anger more often. The one, that his family referred to as Black Haru, began to emerge more frequently.

He had read, as a child, a book called _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_. The content, the idea of a dark and light half had frightened him so much that he had thrown the book away. The idea of Black Haru becoming a murderer like Mr. Hyde was terrifying. It also caused new questions to rise.

Who was Black Haru? He knew that it was fury, hatred, and other negative emotions. Whose were they though? For so long he believed, like everyone else, that the emotions were his, that, in a way, he had developed dual personalities as a way of dealing with his emotions. Now, he was beginning to wonder if Black Haru was really the spirit of the ox. Whenever he lost control, he felt as though he was watching everything from a distance. He felt as though his body was someone elses.

He had figured out that Yuki was not his enemy in this life. What he didn't know was whether his true enemy was himself or the spirit of the ox.


	8. Chapter Eight: Strangers

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Eight: Strangers

The curse, he despised it. It ostracized he and his cousin from the rest of society. They didn't exist, at least not in the way that anyone would understand. They could walk through society, blend in, appear to be normal, but they were not. They were aliens, strangers in this world. People would look at them and see only those who were like them. People were ignorant though. They did not belong They never had.

A few saw, a few were allowed to know what they truly were. There was much red tape to pass through to be allowed that knowledge. There was Akito to pass through. Most were forced back into normal society. He would have to erase their memories and make it so that they were all, once again, strangers.

It was difficult to erase their memories. There would always be an emptiness that would enter their eyes. Afterwards, there would be no familiarity in their eyes. Any recognition of their existence was gone.

Humans needed contact. The species were very social creatures. Without the networks there was only one's self. Akito kept them all on a short leash. Yes, they had each other, they could relate to each other. The truth was that they were alone and each of them was well aware of that fact. There was nothing as long as this curse existed. The only thing that existed for them was the isolation and the darkness that crept closer to them.

There was always a light at the end of the tunnel. It was a common saying, one that he had heard several times before. The light existed, he had seen it a few times. Once, he had been able to bask in the light for a time before that too had been cut short. It was only a memory now, a mere glimmer. Such happiness was fleeting and he could only stand on the outside and observe. That was all that could really be done.

Interaction was forbidden. Trust was forbidden. Life was controlled. Freedom was an illusion. Their existence was false. They were only tools.

It might have been better if Akito had not allowed them to leave the estate. Perhaps if they had been kept hidden away it would be easier. If Akito had instilled the unending banquet, that she was planning, sooner, maybe then they would have been happier. They would not have been strangers. There would have only been the thirteen of them, co-existing without fear of disappearing completely. That idea was only a fantasy. There was no guarantee that they would have been happy if such an arrangement had in fact been made.

Perhaps they were never destined for happiness. It may have just been part of their curse. Who could truly be happy when there was little to no verification of their existence? Such a thing made him wonder if they were really strangers in this world. It was very possible, but it was just as possible that they were ghosts, watching from another dimension and receiving recognition only by chance.


	9. Chapter Nine: Death

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Nine: Death

He died when he was only a child. No one mourned for him. There were no tears that were shed for him. The only tears that had been shed were those that he had cried. His eyes had been sore, puffy, red for many days afterwards. It seemed as though the stains on his face would be permanent, that his face would never again be dry. As time passed though, he was finally able to stop mourning the life that he had lost. Some would say that he had managed to accept it. Others would say that he had become stranger.

Strength. Be strong. He hated those words. There was no strength to be found in death. The only thing that could happen was the ability to come to terms with tragedy. It was wrong to demand anything beyond keeping one's self from drowning in their own depression. It was cruel to ask for anything more. It was wrong to expect an individual to be strong when there is no strength to be found.

No one seemed to understand this though. To try to explain it would be pointless for the words only fell on deaf ears. The only ones who seemed to understand were those who had died like him. He had only met a few of them, but it was difficult to wholly relate with them. They were kind people and would not have frowned on his actions if he had chosen to express his discontent.

As it was, he could not bring himself to act out and lose himself to a fit of fury. He could not bring himself to lose control. There was no point in doing so. No one would care. There would only be blind eyes. The others would see though, understand why, but they would do nothing. He was just another lost soul and he was not the only one who suffered. To say that he deserved some form of sympathy would have been to much to ask. It was probably better served to others. After all, he had not existed long enough to deserve such a thing. Life had been too short for him. He had not existed long enough and as such he could only be forgotten. To remember would have been too difficult, if possible.

A heavy sigh passed his lips. Sitting on top of the wall, that ran along the sidewalk, he watched those people who walked past him. They did not notice him, but why should they? The gleam of blonde hair in his peripheral vision drew his attention. He turned his head to the left and watched the woman who walked down the sidewalk towards him. His breath caught in his throat. He should run, he knew, but his body remained motionless. A young girl was holding her hand, her hair the same blonde as the woman's. Mother and daughter. His mother and sister. They passed him, not seeing.

He released a heavy sigh. It had been too much to hope that she would see him. His gaze lowered to his shoes. He was dead. He didn't exist. The moment that she had rejected him, he had stopped living. He looked back to where they should be, hoping to catch a final glimpse before they were swallowed by the crowd.

Momo glanced over her shoulder, smiling at the boy before he was lost from her sight.

Time seemed to slow for a fraction of a second when their gazes met. Too quickly, reality returned. They were gone now. Still, a smile curved his lips.


	10. Chapter Ten: Sixth Sense

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Ten: Sixth Sense

Felines were said to be able to perceive spirits. Unlike humans this afterlife was open to them. Spirits feared them. They were, after all, guardians. They were the swords that hung over the heads of those who walked the Underworld. They were the ones who protected the living from the dead.

Kyo stared at the basket that he held. Tohru was currently filling it to the top with oranges. He glanced at her. "Do you think that you have enough?"

"Yes," she said before tossing two more oranges into the basket.

He shook his head. "Are we done here?"

"Yes."

Grateful for that fact he took the basket to the cashier. The girl gave him an amused look that he did his best to ignore.

"You like oranges, huh?"

He frowned and said nothing. Handing over some money he then took his change before quickly leaving. "Why the hell did you get so many oranges?" he asked once they both were away from the grocery store.

"You do know what day it is today?"

"Yeah, I know what day it is. We don't need this many oranges though."

"I'm going to take some to Mom and I thought that it would be a good idea to take some to Dad too."

He glanced at her. She was smiling like she always did when she was sad. The sight of that smile made him feel guilty for acting like he did. Reaching over he took her hand. Almost immediately she brightened. He smiled. Squeezing her hand he then brushed his thumb across her knuckles.

Kyo was being very kind. It felt like he was trying to apologize to her, but she was probably wrong. The comfort was there though.

On the streets there was the offerings of food and money, that was burned, being placed on the sidewalks in front of houses and businesses alike.

"Kyo."

"Yeah?"

"I read somewhere that cats could see spirits."

He glanced at her, having a feeling as to what this comment was leading to.

For a time she was silent. She was hesitant to approach the matter. They had never really talked about this curse since it was broken. In fact it was never mentioned. "Can you...? I mean... Were you able to see spirits, Kyo?"

The question did not bother him as much as he thought that it would. In fact it was actually very amusing. He smirked and shook his head. "No."

"Really? Even when you were transformed you couldn't see them?"

"No. I couldn't see anything, Tohru." Glancing at her he then patted her head. "We should hurry home if you want to see your parents."

"Of, of course. Yes, we should hurry."

His lips curved up in a fond smile. She appeared oblivious to his gaze as she talked about the possibility of a picnic and about needing to contact Uo and Hana.

_"Were you able to see spirits, Kyo?"_

He glanced to their left. A man was sitting on the ground eating one of the oranges that were being offered. Half of his face was coated in blood. The man looked at him as he passed. He quickly looked away.

_"Yes, I can see them. I saw my mother and I saw Kyoko. I saw your mother, Tohru. There were others too. Even now I can see them. I hate it."_

"How does a picnic sound?"

"Whatever you want." _I can't tell you, Tohru. I'm sorry. You can't know this. Forgive me._


	11. Chapter Eleven: Smell

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Eleven: Smell

The house had a musty odor. There was also the stench of rot. Gratefully, it had been locked away behind a door. It was safe in the kitchen where the scent of burn food battled for dominion. The combination was one that even two bachelors abhorred. Thankfully, infrequent cleaning made the small a little tolerable, but only just. This all seemed to change in a matter of hours.

Tohru's arrival had resulted in the house undergoing a transformation. The air was cleaner. The kitchen was no longer a graveyard for uncleaned dishes and failed meals, but a haven in which mouth watering meals were constantly being born. It was, as a whole, a welcoming environment.

There was no longer any excuse to be had to escape. The house was no longer a place to return to so that sleep could be had. It was no longer just a shelter. The house was a home. There was more reason to stay than there was to leave. It was here that they had something truly pleasing.

For Shigure it was the sense of life. When he woke in the morning it was normally still. He could smell the morning. He could hear the birds. For a long time he just laid there. When he finally decided to rouse himself he would hear the creaking of the stairs. By the time that he started to make his way to the kitchen he would smell the appetizing scent of tea and a cup would be waiting for him when he entered the room. A smile always accompanied the tea along with a pleasant hello that warmed his heart.

Spring cleaning always mesmerized Yuki. There was something about it that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Hanajima and Uotani, and now Momiji, would always arrive at the house either the previous night or early that morning. The first thing to be done was to throw open all of the doors and windows. This was his favorite part. He always enjoyed the sensation caused by the early morning breeze striking his face. It was always so crisp. The next step was to move the furniture. That normally proved to be both entertaining and frustrating. Dusting would then follow. He disliked this step of spring cleaning. The particles would invade his lungs. Once they managed to cause him to have an attack. It had been serious enough that Hatori had to rush over to the house. Poor Tohru had gone into a panic. Thankfully, she had eventually calmed down and he did not have to go to the hospital for treatment. The rest of the cleaning process was not too bad. The scent of chemicals could be overpowering sometimes. That never seemed to bother Tohru though. When it was all over he would stand in the center of the house. He would close his eyes and enjoy the feeling of wind sweeping through the empty house. He would breathe deeply and let it all overwhelm him.

The house was just a house for Kyo. His home was in the women that he would wake up to see every day. Sometimes he did not have to wait for the son to see her. There were some nights when she would come into his bedroom. She having nightmares was a rare occurrence. When it did happen she would always seek his comfort. She would lay under the covers with him. Never were they close enough to touch. However, she was close enough for him to smell her scent. It was subtle, but it would always linger for days afterwards. Then there were those nights when they would sit on the roof together. She would talk about everything and nothing, and he would just listen. These nights, though frequent, were always perfect. They were better when the curse was broken and he could hold her. Her scent would overcome him and he didn't have to worry about that smell going away.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Touch

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Twelve: Touch

It was so soft. It could almost be considered feather-like. The sensation should not have been enough to wake him, but it had. He did not open his eyes. To be disappointed by the emptiness of reality was something that he could not bear right now. He would much rather dream. He would much rather pretend that it was her and not his imagination. Again, he felt it.

The thought occurred to him that his cat had crept into the bedroom. It was very possible. This could very well be the cat placing its paw on his face, barely touching him. It had played this game with him before. If he slept in too late the cat would somehow enter the room and it would then wake him, demanding to be fed with a pathetic yowl. He waited for the touch to happen again, but it did not.

Sighing, he waited for the lull of sleep. He was tired. There had been too many sleepless nights as of late. He needed to sleep. If he didn't Dark Haru would gain control of his mind and no one, including himself, was in the mood to deal with that. Dark Haru had been roaming free far too frequently as of late. Until a couple days ago he had given up trying to fix whatever had been destroyed in his room. He had managed to fix his broken bed before collapsing onto the mattress and falling straight to sleep.

Almost, he jolted straight out of his bed. There had been a touch. That could not have been the cat's paw. He took several deep and slow breaths. He needed to relax. He needed to calm down. He needed to think.

The caress had felt purposeful. It had started at his cheek, had then traced his jawline before brushing lightly against his neck. There had been the sensation of skin against skin. He had not imagined that or maybe he had. He had left the window open. The room had been stuffy and it had become necessary for him to open the window and to let some fresh air into the room. It had been the wind. His mind was only playing tricks on him again. It had not been her. He had only imagined the touch of her skin.

That had felt like her though. He knew her touch. He would be damned if he didn't. She was always gentle with him. It always felt as though she thought that he was fragile. That was possible. She had mentioned once that she felt as though she didn't deserve him. He had always thought that was nonsense. There was no reason for such thoughts. She deserved everything and more.

Waiting for another caress he hoped that it would happen. He prayed that it would. If it did it would mean that she had come back, that she had come home. What felt like eternity passed and nothing happened. It had only been the wind.

Just as he was about to force himself to sleep he felt warm lips press against his own. For only a few seconds they lingered before vanishing.

"Haru."

"Rin!"

He opened his mind and saw nothing. Sitting up and looking around yielded only an empty room. She wasn't here.

The imagination was cruel.


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Taste

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Thirteen: Taste

It had been very new. There was warmth. There was a plethora of new things that he had never fully realized until then. He had felt like a child. The world had seemed brighter as if a veil had been pulled away from his eyes. Perhaps, in a way, that had actually happened.

He no longer noticed the chain that had been tied to him. The curse was no longer as important as it had once been. It no longer dominated him. His life was no longer controlled by it. He could walk the streets and no longer worry if someone might fall into him. Somehow, he had been freed.

It had been frightening. There were times when he had tried to end it. Perhaps a part of him had known that the inevitable would happen. Actually, he had known. He had tried to fight it. He had tried to get out of his life and to return to the normalcy that he had once had. Try as he might he could not rid himself of it. Then he was falling and he slowly began to lose sense of reality. He was turning into someone new and he no longer knew what away him now because of it. Everything had been turned upside down.

It had been sweet. There was a tenderness that had never existed before. All of his insecurities were behind broken down until little remained. Always, he wondered if he was worthy. He never felt that he was, but somehow he began to believe it.

There were times when he would weep. None of it felt real. Then he would be swept up into a tender embrace. A soft smile would sooth him. A kiss would remind him of the goodness that existed. Then a few words would be spoken and he would return to himself. Each time that he was returned from the moments of raw emotion he would realize that such a thing was okay. Feelings were necessary and it was not forbidden to express him. He could enjoy the sensation of grass under his back, the caress of the wind, the warmth of the sun. He could enjoy the sound of delighted laughter. He could enjoy the sight of a gorgeous smile. He could smile, laugh, look with love filled eyes and not be ashamed.

It was perfect. There were moments of anger and moments of sadness. Papers were misfiled. Teases were had. Laughter rang like bells. Plans were made. All of it fit together. The future was welcomed.

It was disillusioning. There was a new veil, one that he had created. He had refused to see the sword that hung over his head. He refused to recognize that it all could be torn away. Everything was right and nothing would destroy it.

It was too brief. Her memories were gone, wiped away by his own hand. What they had vanished in an instant. There was no more life.

Akito had allowed him to live. He had been allowed to taste of a world that would never be his. For a brief moment he was allowed happiness before it was shattered and he could only hold the broken pieces.

It was cruel.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Whisper

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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Chapter Fourteen: Whisper

He did not want reassurances. For the entirety of his life he had always been told that he had been loved. He had been told that he was perfect. He had been told that nothing that had happened was his fault.

None of that was what he wanted to hear. He knew that his father loved him. He knew that most of his family cared about him as did Tohru. They made that clear to him in their own ways. However, he trusted the actions more than the words. Statements could be compelled. There could be little truth with words. Sometimes, he would hear an honest statement. Most of the time though, that came from strangers or Tohru. Almost everyone else said things to him because they felt like they had to.

As he matured he had started to confront people when they did that. Though they claimed to be honest with their words he found it difficult to believe them. There was something in their voices that disgusted him. More often than not he would hear the truth of the lies. Other times he would just leave; hating himself and them.

He didn't know why he listened to them. It would be very simple for him to just tune them out or to leave. That had crossed his mind many times. To stand up and walk away from the recorded words and to find... He didn't know what he would want to find. Silence? That would be nice. A quiet place wouldn't have all of those voices. He would only have his own thoughts. Even his thoughts could be deceiving though. They had tricked him before; several years ago. That inner voice whispered lies into his ears and had blinded him to the truth. That couldn't happen again. He couldn't handle it.

Leaving would still be best; if not for the words, but for the reasons. There were plenty of excuses that he could find that would give him enough prompting to leave. There was the head of the family. There was his mother. There was his life. However, there were just as many reasons for him to stay. He had friends, a father, and Tohru. He had a home. He also had them.

Though, his mother and Momo were unaware of it he had the two of them. While they were both ignorant of his connection to them he knew. Their blood was the same and there was some form of relationship. That was only the physical. In terms of an emotional relationship only he had that. He would see the two of them and he would create fantasies that were beyond his reach. Both the voice and his father would reprimand him. They would whisper harshly into his ear that he was wrong. He didn't know if those words were true or not, but he didn't care.

He would imagine his mother turning and seeing him; actually seeing him. She would call him over and he would go and walk with she and Momo down the street. He would play games with his sister and help to instruct Momo in the violin. Momo would whisper secrets and sibling endearments into his ear and he would do the same. Alone with his mother he would talk about life and play lovely sonnets to her. He would show her how much he cared for and appreciated her. She herself would whisper that she loved him and that she wanted him. She would say that he was not a monster. He would believe her.

The voice would whisper that he needed to stop dreaming. He would ignore it. For his mother and Momo he would stay. For them he would listen to the undesirable words and hope for only honesty.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Temptation

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Fifteen: Temptation**

Looking at him no one would ever guess the reason. A glance at his house and how secluded that it was would result in the conclusion that he liked his privacy. That was the casual passerby. Those who knew him were aware of the fact that he had been banished. They knew that Akito had sent him away because he had managed to anger the head of the family. His family knew that he had settled on Sohma lands because it was home without actually being home.

Who could blame him? The wilderness was lovely. It was the perfect place to live. He could be at peace knowing that he was way from those who would disrupt his creativity. That was what he told anyone who asked, at least. His publisher was foolish enough to believe it.

The poor woman. He almost felt sorry for her when she made the trek to his house and begged for his manuscript. She would do whatever he wished in order to gain it and who could really resist a person who willingly kissed one's feet? He certainly couldn't. That was one of the perks to staying out here.

Of course, he would leave his house. The lure of society became too much at times and he would go out; strolling through parks or down the streets. Such outings always made him feel content. He was not too much of a hermit.

Ayame would want to see him too. While his friend was usually willing to come and visit him, there were times when Ayame demanded that he came to his shop. He would acquiesce. It was always fun for him to go and see his exuberant friend.

Then, sometimes, he would return to the main house. The majority of the visits were due to the annual banquet or other familial gatherings, which his parents hinted that his attendance would be nice. His parents were always lovely to see and as such he made certain to see them as infrequently as possible. Other times he would go to see Hatori. The doctor was always happy to see him. They would sit on the porch smoking and discussing various matters. Sometimes he just wanted to stroll the grounds of his birth and reflect on his life, wondering where he had gone wrong.

On rare occasions he would see her. Most often it was just a glimpse. Only once did he force himself to see her, but that was just for Tohru. Normally one of them would desire to see or speak to the other and he would end up at her side.

No one understood. They thought that he had been banished when he had left freely. She had wanted him gone and he had wanted to be gone. They had hurt each other for reasons that he couldn't begin to understand. He wanted to hurt her just as much as he wanted to hold her. He wanted to ravish her just as much as he wanted to strangle her; sometimes. She was so stubborn.

No one knew, not even her, the reason that he stayed away from her. She was too much of a temptation for him.

He loved her, but he wanted to hate her.

His Akito.


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Nightmare

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Sixteen: Nightmare**

The room was unusually silent. She opened her eyes and examined her surroundings. There was no one. She had not really expected to see anyone though. Her eyes closed and she lay still. If she had not already been used to the stillness she may have been unsettled. She was adjusted to the silence though. That couldn't really be helped though.

The sound of scratching prompted her to sit up. Looking around, she searched for the source of the sound. There was nothing that she could see. The silence returned. She glanced around a final time before laying down again. The moment that her head touched the pillow the scratching sound started again. Heaving a sigh she sat up. Her gaze passed over her room's interior. Nothing that she could see could be making this sound. When it failed to stop this time she was able to just listen. It seemed to be coming from around the door. She left her bed and slowly walked over there. The scratching was not within the room, but was coming from the hall. The sound reminded her of a cat.

When she opened the door she found that the hall was dark. The light that was normally on was not. She stepped out and glanced around. The scratching sound was now coming from the far end of the hall. She made her way towards it.

This hall did not belong to Kagura's home. There was light filtering out from under a door. The scratching was coming from behind it. She opened the door and froze. Her parents were sitting at the table. They were ignorant of her presence. She took a step back and then another.

"What are you doing here?"

They were both look at her. Their expressions were indifferent. In their eyes though she could see their contempt. She took another few steps backwards. Reaching out, she blindly looked for the door. She needed to close it. She needed to shut them away. The door wasn't there. Looking away from them she searched for the door. Both it and the hall were gone.

_What?_

When she looked up she found that both her parents and the room were gone. Where ever she was it was dark for some dim light. The scratching was louder now.

"Long, black hair."

She knew that voice. Even though she had told herself not to be afraid she couldn't help it when the feeling washed over her.

"I hate it."

The pain was sudden and she fell to her knees. A pair of feet were before her. Lifting her head she saw him holding a pair of silver scissors. A malignant smile curved his lips.

"Pathetic."

The scratching was louder now. She hated the sound. It was terrible.

"You don't deserve to live."

He was closer to her now. The scissors were near her face. The light reflected off of the blades. Maybe he would actually kill her this time.

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She opened her eyes. It was dark still. Turning over, she stared blankly at the window. Closing her eyes she tried to ignore her racing heart and the cold sweat that coated her body. The remnants of her nightmare had left her senses hyper aware of anything that did not belong. She heard scratching. When she opened her eyes she saw that the perpetrator was the tree outside of her window. She closed her eyes and curled up into a small ball.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Bittersweet

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Seventeen: Bittersweet**

Finally, it had ended. The curse was gone. There was no longer need for fear. The necessity to avoid had died. They could walk amongst the other gender without having to monitor how close someone got to them. It was possible to be outside without having to worry that their state of body or mind could suddenly cause them to transform. They were free. They could live.

Many doors had been opened. The first had been that of the Sohma Estate. Akito had relaxed her death grip on the formerly cursed. Permission was no longer necessary. Everyone could live the lives that they wanted without being afraid of angering Akito. It was nearly perfect; being able to breathe.

Sometimes it didn't seem to be real. There were moments when it still felt as though thy were still drained. However, they all realized that it would be a transition from one reality to the next. The road was a hard one, but it was worth it.

Most of them were able to make the change. Akito had revealed her true face. Though her old cruelty would sometimes resurface, she had developed confidence in herself. She was kinder. Akito had become a new person.

Shigure had returned to the Sohma Estate. The decision was surprising to everyone. However, everything was made clear when his and Akito's engagement was announced. That had raised some controversy. Many questioned how the family would be run in the future. No one had any real complaints. If anything Shigure's open relationship with Akito had made everything better.

Ayame had found similar success. He was openly dating Mine. There had been no punishment. Rumors had begun to circulate amongst the family that the two may marry. None of that had been confirmed. Ayame had managed to improve his relationship with Yuki. That had been made more difficult after Yuki had left for school. However, the two apparently talked every week.

Yuki had left. He had found Machi and their relationship was apparently going well. His success had extended to school. That had been of no surprise. Yuki had not been the only one to gain freedom.

Kureno had left the Sohma Estate. Before he had stopped being heard from he had been seeing Uotani for a short time. Unfortunately that relationship had not survived.

Ritsu had mostly vanished. The only time that he was seen was when members of the family visited the spa. Apparently he had stopped dressing as a woman. His panic had not lessened though. That was the main reason that the family believed that Ritsu stayed away.

Momiji and Hatori had made the transition more smoothly than others. Hardly anything had changed for them. They seemed happier though.

Hiro and Kisa grew up. They were able to live complete lives. The life of suffering that the others had lived was not passed to them.

Kyo had gone. He had left with Tohru and the two were beginning their lives. The former carrier of the cat's soul had moved onto his new life easily. Compared to everyone he seemed happiest. His life had completely turned around. Then, there was the fact that he had Tohru. He was lucky.

Rin had not been so lucky. Her life had gone downhill. At first, he had thought that everything would be alright. She had seemed happy when she was finally freed. He had been let in again. She no longer tried to push him away. They had even found an apartment and left the Sohma Estate forever. Then he had found her one day after work.

It had been a Wednesday. The day was beautiful. The sun was shining. That day they were supposed to go out with Momiji. He had opened the door expecting to be greeted by the smile that she had started to give him again. She was not there. After a quick search of the apartment he found her in the bedroom. Her wrists were bandaged. He saw that the bandages were stained with blood.

"I need help, Haru."

He would never forget her eyes when she said that. The beautiful brown orbs had been lifeless.

That night he had taken her to the hospital. The doctors had recommended an extended stay and limited visits. He apparently agitated her. Eventually, they had stopped him from coming completely. According to the doctors she became suicidal after he left.

That was one year, four months, and twenty-eight days ago. He had only been allowed to see her for two months and six days before his visitation privileges were taken away. Too much time had gone by.

Isuzu (Rin) Sohma was gone. She existed for no one, but him.

He, Hatsuharu (Haru) Sohma, still existed. Everyone tried to convince him to move on. He couldn't do that.

The curse's end had brought new life. Freedom had been gained. Most of the endings for the cursed were good. His and Rin's endings were bittersweet.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Guilt

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Eighteen: Guilt**

Everything was his fault. He should have known better, but he didn't. Maybe if he had been more careful this would not have happened. Being careful meant nothing; not anymore.

Rin had always been distant. The fault for that lay in her parents. The bastards had destroyed her childhood and acted as though everything was her fault. She was not the one to blame just because the spirit of the horse had chosen to inhabit her body. In a way it was better that she had seen their true faces. That was better than she being a victim of a continued puppet show. She no longer had to live in an illusion and he could be there.

Yes, it had been purely coincidental that he had stepped into her life. He had cared though. Because of him she had received the medical attention that she needed. She was made safe. He had been her rock and he had insured that she was loved.

Somewhere he had faltered in that. It was the only explanation. He had not given her enough attention or maybe he had given her too much. For one reason or another he had managed to put an end to everything. Rin had been happy and then everything had shattered.

She had fallen. Akito had both figuratively and literally pushed her over the edge. As glad as he was that she had not been killed he supposed that it would have been better if she had not survived. She suffered. Rin was subject to more pain than he could begin to imagine. The physical wounds healed and left only scars. The emotional trauma did not heal, but faltered instead. It was hard to see her suffering. He could handle the moments of anger when she would lash out. Her tears though, pained him. Nothing should have made her cry, but various factors had. He had done nothing to stop that.

Sometimes she would come back to him. Her smile would return and he felt as though he had done something good. He was by her side again. He was protecting her. She was healing. Everything was returning to as it should be. The happiness that she was so deserving of being given to her again.

Then she vanished. He could have only guessed where she had gone. All searches had been to no avail. She had simply disappeared. His Rin was gone. By the time that he thought to go to Akito he was too late. She was beyond his reach. Rin was saved by another. He had not been able to see her at the hospital. That had been difficult. He knew though, that she would run in time. As much as Rin would deny it she was a creature of habit. When he had found her she had called him home.

He was her home.

As sweet as that declaration sounded when it passed her lips he knew that he did not deserve to be known as such a thing. He had failed her.

Rin was gone; taken away only a short time after the curse had ended. Her freedom had been short lived. He had not protected her. She should be here now.

He knew that he had not been there for her.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Moon

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Nineteen: Moon**

The image was a beautiful one. Often he was drawn to the sight of the pale orb that hung in the sky. He found that it cleared his mind and he was able to think. Thought was clear rather than a mess. He could not always bring himself to care about that. The sight of the moon made it difficult for him to care about anything more than the peaceful night.

He knew the legend concerning the moon. Rabbits were said to have come from the moon. As a child he had found the story to be delightful. Now that he was older he still liked the tale. He did not become as excited about it as he did years earlier. However, he did take inspiration from the legend and created many pieces as a result. His music was proclaimed as perfect by his teacher; when his father finally allowed him to practice with the man again. His family and Tohru held similar opinions though, his mother had gone farther and had called his music beautiful.

To hear such a thing from her had been shocking. He had not been certain how to respond to her. Somehow he had managed to thank her, but he could not bring himself to say or do anything more. His mother had rejected him and she had made him a stranger. Even after she had regained her memory of him he had been reluctant to accept her love of him. He was still the same person. She had turned her back on him because of the curse and now accepted him only because he was no longer possessed. Despite this he was grateful. The fact that she liked his music was a small sign of her acceptance of him. As far as he was concerned that was a start of what he hoped would be a happy ending.

Sometimes he still wished that he was cursed. That was a strange thing to desire, he knew. The curse had destroyed his life. He could finally live. Everyone kept saying that. He hardly believed that though. Yes, he could now be a brother to Momo. Still, he was more alone than he had been when he was cursed. His cousins who had been cursed had all gone their separate ways. He and his mother were still strangers. Tohru was gone. The dear girl had left with Kyo. At least when he had been cursed he had always had the spirit of the rabbit to keep him company.

He could still recall a few nights when he would gaze at the full moon. Within him something would stir and he felt warm. Though it may have been his imagination he was certain that it was the rabbit's spirit.

Once upon a time Haru teased him about how he should go to live on the moon. Tohru had overheard him one day and she had exclaimed how amazing such a life would be. Kyo said that the idea was stupid. He didn't know what he thought at the time, but now he wished that he could. Gazing at the moon he wondered if the spirit of the rabbit lived there now.

That was a comforting thought.


	20. Chapter Twenty: Hide

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Twenty: Hide**

Hardly any light managed to filter into the room. The silence remained unbroken save for some passing conversation or the twittering of birds. Otherwise the sound of rain on the roof or the howling of wind was all that was heard. The feeling was an eery one. Sometimes the door would slide open and food would be placed in the room or plates would be taken away. She was alone save for the dust that hung in the air.

Yuki's fear of this place was understandable. The room was a nightmare. It was of little wonder as to why he had been scarred after only being placed in this room a few times. After only being in here for a few hours she had started to doubt her own mind. What had he suffered? Was he forced to face those demons that she had created by keeping him? Did he have to face himself here? She knew that he held little love for himself. Did this place force him to realize his lack of importance? Maybe this was why he had been so eager to flee from the estate.

Looking back to her childhood she knew that she had been wrong. No plausible reason existed as to why she should have tortured Yuki in such a way. It was understandable why she was disliked and not trusted by the family. She would not be surprised if when she left the room she discovered that no one had missed her.

No one had missed Isuzu when she had locked the girl away. Kyo's absence would not have been noticed when he was to be locked away. That was not entirely true though. Haru had appeared ready to kill her when Isuzu had vanished and Kyo was not as hated as she had hoped he would be. They were cared for. They had what she did not.

A part of her had hoped that Shigure would have come for her. He had said that he loved her. If that were true then he would have come to find her. She should have known better. Shigure was incapable of love. He was nothing more than a manipulator. Why had she chosen to ignore that? Why had she clung to that small piece of hope that maybe, just maybe...

She held her head, her nails digging into her scalp. Why couldn't she have... No. Not anymore. She had enough of this.

Forcing herself to stand she leaned heavily against the wall. Her body was stiff. She should not have sat still for so long. Her first few steps were awkward. After stumbling for a bit she walked normally the rest of the way to the door. She rested her forehead against the door frame. There was no more noise in the outside hall. It seemed as though the staff had given up on lingering around and whispering amongst themselves.

Pulling the door open she left the room. Many who she passed seemed surprised to see her. Perhaps they hoped that she would stay hidden. That time had passed. She was here and they would come to be glad about that.


	21. Chapter Twentyone: Fire

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Twenty-one: Fire**

Everything was burning. That was all that he could say to describe the current moment. It was all vanishing in a single instant. All of his concerns, all of his fears; gone.

He had never thought that he would reach this moment in his life. Ever since his childhood he had been blocked by every obstacle that he could have created.

_"You're not good enough."_

_ "You're too weak."_

_ "You're nothing."_

_ "You don't deserve to live."_

Enough.

That time had passed. He wouldn't let the voices control him. They weren't his masters. They couldn't dictate his life. He was no longer a child. The weakness that he had once possessed had vanished with age. He had grown into a man. Experience, maturity, and wisdom were his weapons. Being the victim, the weakling, was no longer his role in life. She had shown him that. He had a purpose. He was someone.

The person that he had once been was gone. He had been a stammering fool; walking around with his head bowed and always voicing apologies. The apologies...

_"I'm sorry. Please... I'm sorry. Forgive me."_

_ "Sorry."_

_ "I'm so sorry."_

How had he become that person? Looking back he had found no reason to act in such a way. The curse was not his fault. He had not asked to be infected by that disease. That had not been his fault. He should not have been the one to apologize. His parents should not have apologized. They were not to blame. Those people should have apologized.

Akito had attempted to make amends. She had gone to him personally and had asked for his forgiveness for her behavior. His acceptance had tasted bitter in his mouth. The apology that she had given him may have been true, but he could not make himself believe that. For so long Akito had been cruel. Then overnight, it almost seemed as such, she had changed. She had decided to reveal her 'true nature.' He could not believe that. Thanks had been given to Tohru for helping Akito to turn over a new leaf. He did not believe that either. Tohru was special. He would not deny that. The girl did not have the ability though, to make someone change so suddenly. His and the others' change had taken time, years. Everyone believed Akito's lie; except, perhaps, Shigure.

He should have followed Hatsuharu and Isuzu. They had both rejected Akito and had freed themselves rather than be caught up in the new webs that had been spun. Or he could have take the same path as Kureno. The man had just disappeared one day without a trace. Rumors circulated about his current whereabouts, but no one knew what was true and what was not.

Disappearing would have been so easy. He had chosen to stay though. A fool. That was what he was. He had a chance and he didn't take it.

Now he was stuck, enveloped in this new life of the Sohma family. It would not last long. Soon it would be gone along with who he had once been. Everything would turn to ashes and he would not apologize for that.

They would be silenced.


	22. Chapter Twentytwo: Rain

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

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**Chapter Twenty-two: Rain**

Everything had come to a stand still. He life, his purpose; it was all gone. All that was left were memories and that was question to suspect.

What was he now?

He didn't really know. Was he time? It was possible. Each piece of existence was, in a way, time. But he had stopped. He was no longer anything anymore. Did time mean anything to him now? Somehow he felt as though he no longer belonged to the regular flow of time anymore. That did make sense.

Since only a few hours earlier he was forever separated from the rest of humanity. It would make sense that he was no longer part of their world in any shape or form. Did that mean that he belonged to his own universe now?

If that was the situation now should he still hear the soft pitter patter of rain on the sidewalk? Should he still be aware of the coolness of the air or the muddy, clean scent that was always so contradictory?

Should he be able to feel the ache in his chest upon seeing her as she was now? As she had always been in her life she was less than troubled by her current state. Her clothes were thoroughly drenched and her hair was plastered to her face. She normally loved being in that state. He remembered that she had said that the rain was freeing. She could never stay outside for too long though. Being wet for too long was something that she hated. Today was different though. She had been standing outside for several hours now. If she wasn't careful she would get sick. That was the last thing that she needed right now. She needed to go inside and warm herself. Nothing about her body language though, showed him that she planned to do that.

He should go over and tell her to go inside. Maybe if he told her to forget about what had brought her here she would. He could not though. Not anymore. His ability to help her had been taken away.

No one else would tell her to leave. They had all left earlier. None of them cared for her except his father. At least that was what he thought. If he was correct his father would return and convince her to leave. She would go home and life would continue for her.

So many years were left for her to live. She would cherish each day as she always had. He hoped that she did. She was a butterfly and she was the epitome of everything that was beautiful in this world. For her to just stop would be a great loss.

The rain began to fall harder. She looked pitiful, standing there with lifeless eyes. Despite no longer being allowed to he still approached her. She shivered when he pressed his lips against her cheek. He knew that she would blame the weather, but he hoped that she still felt his presence and he prayed that she would remember how to live.

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_Author's Note: It occurred to me that the subjects of this chapter may be a bit more vague then I originally intended. While still understanding that some may have guessed, this chapter concerns Kyoko and Katsuya Honda._


	23. Chapter Twentythree: Snow

_Author's Note: Some confusion was expressed about the chapter. I made a few changes and the subject should be a more clear now. Enjoy._

**************Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-three: Snow**

Spring seemed far away. The world had been buried under an expanse of frozen water. A few blizzards had swept through the area. As a result the layers of snow were thicker than they had been in the past.

Never before did she recall a storm like this one before. Her grandfather had told her stories about the winters of his youth; how if one wasn't careful they would end up lost until spring. He also told her stories of spirits and how he had seen one once.

The encounter now seemed less real. At least, that is what he said. The image may have been a trick this his eyes had played on him after staring for too long into the blizzard. He had also blamed an overly imaginative, young mind

While he did not believe himself, she did. She had never known her grandfather to be one who lied or who told fantasized stories about himself. He was an honest man. She had given up convincing him that he had not been imagining what he had seen; even if her efforts had made him smile. Instead, she focused on seeing her grandfather's ghost.

She had started doing this when she was five and had first been told the story. Her determination had waned as she had grown. Ever snow fall that occurred no longer fell under tough scrutiny. Her efforts were instead focused on the heavier snow falls when she was certain that the spirit maiden would reveal herself.

Kyo would not bother her when she would stare fixedly through the kitchen window. Their first winter together at Shigure's house had revealed her odd quirk to him. On a few separate occasions he would stand with her and watch the snow fall. She didn't know if he ever saw anything. If he did he never told her. Once she could have sworn that he might have seen something. A look of surprise and maybe even fear had appeared in his expression. He had left the window a little more quickly than what was normal. That had been the last time that he had stood and watched with her. As curious as she was she never asked him about it.

Not seeing who she looked for was admittedly frustrating. Years of failure wore her down and sometimes she would not stare out at a blizzard. She would instead clean until the point of exhaustion. Afterwards, she would feel calmer and her desire to see the spirit would return. She had to prove to her grandfather that what he saw was real. The maiden was real just as the snow was.

Later in his life her grandfather told her that the snow was the tears of man. On that day it had been snowing and she had looked at the crystallized water with new eyes. It was so sad.

Her grandfather thanked her and she only smiled. He appreciated what she was doing, but he said that it was not necessary. If the maiden was real then she would see her specter if she was meant to. The snow is always here and so would his ghost be.

She had nodded. Now she was not certain of what she should do. Her grandfather had said that he would believe for her. That was not right. He should believe for himself.

Her days of staring for long periods of time at the snow grew less frequent. She would still glance through the window with the hope of seeing a figure within the swirling snow.


	24. Chapter Twentyfour: Storm

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-four: Storm**

The air was thick, electrified. Fear existed. Of what he could not be certain.

He did not like this feeling. It felt as though the world had returned to how it had once been. He was on edge. A darkness was lurking. The evil that had once haunted them had returned. Its face had changed. He could no longer see it. Tohru had banished the evil away so now it had returned faceless. It had hidden itself somewhere. He could not see it, but he could feel it. That terrified him.

Almost a year had passed before that darkness had returned. He had not noticed it at first, but he had seen the signs. They were so clear, but he had been almost completely blind. Perhaps if he had paid better attention he could have gotten rid of that evil before it had sunk its claws into their lives. He had not though and now it may be too late.

Rin had seen it immediately. She had tried to talk to him, but she had stopped herself before he could find out about its presence sooner. He had not thought about her lack of willingness to speak then. Rid had always had her moments when she found words to be difficult to vocalize. Normally her emotions were high when that occurred. He had learned to not push her during these times. Now he wished that he had tried to make her speak. Maybe if he had then he could have stopped the progression then rather than open the door to the darkness.

The changes had been subtle at first. Rin had grown quiet again. He had thought that she had a lot on her mind. She had said as much and he had believed her. He didn't want to risk her running away again. During this time she became detached. She would look at him and he wondered if she actually saw him. This didn't happen too frequently and when she entered that state it never lasted longer than an hour. He had asked her if she was well. She said yes. She just had a lot on her mind.

More than once he would be sitting in the room only to stand or speak and have her startle like a cat. She had never realized that he was in the room though, she would not say it.

Not long afterwards she began to sleep. This pleased him at first. Rin had always had difficulty sleeping. They had been cursed then. Now they were free. He thought that she was finally healing. When she retired to bed he never questioned it. Then she began to stay in bed and to sleep for more hours than what was natural. After the third incident he began to worry. When she refused to leave the bed he realized that something was seriously wrong.

Hatori said not to be concerned. After what Rin had experienced in her life he was surprised that she had not become like this sooner. In time she would recover. Still, Hatori had said to keep an eye on her.

He disagreed. Why was he to not worry? This was not right What was happening to her was malevolent. He could feel it in the air. The evil of the Sohma family had returned and it was stronger than before. It was attacking just his Rin now. He could not stop it. All that he could do was wait and that didn't seem to be enough.


	25. Chapter Twentyfive: Broken

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-five: Broken**

To the end she had been resilient. She had forced herself to push through the horror and the pain. It had been hard. Forcing one's self to change when instinct screamed "Run!" was always difficult. She had done it though.

The process seemed to take forever. In reality it only took a few seconds. That was impressive, but she was that type of person. She was amazing in her own right. When others had shunned him, hated him, and pitied him, she had not. She had forced herself to look at him, to stand with him, to love him. Who else had done that?

Others had. Kazuma had taken those steps before she had even thought to. Then Tohru had come and had done more. Tohru had managed to reach him where she had not. It helped that both Kazuma and Tohru had been honest in their intentions. She had not been, but was that so terrible?

For years she had loved him. She had shown him that. Being with him was a commitment that she had been willing to make.

He could not make that same choice though. As much as she wished for him to he would not love her. He turned her away and she allowed him to at the end. She let him leave and go to Tohru. He was better off with her. That was what she told herself. She had found that easier to believe.

When he was gone she was left to live with the whispers and the pitying gazes. They thought that she had wasted her life on him. She didn't see it that way. All of her time had not been solely devoted to him. She had lived and grown and had enjoyed life. Why they thought such a thing she could not understand. It was not right.

What had she done to make them think that? There was nothing that she could think of. She had loved him. She still loved him. Was that why? Did the fact that she continued to care for him make her sad?

Rid had said so. Her cousin had said that she needed to move on. He was not her life. She had gone on with her life though. The Sohma Estate was behind her. She was at college. If she continued to think about him meant nothing. To forget about him would be wrong even if Rin said otherwise.

They were all wrong. Everything was perfect. She knew what she was doing in her life just as much as she knew who she loved; even if she questioned whether or not she should still love him. What was the purpose of it?

Was there any purpose to love him still when he had Tohru? Did she still need to devote herself to him? Was it wrong to?

A part of her did question her feelings when she recently saw Kyo. He had looked at her strangely and had asked if she was okay. She could only force herself to say yes and to try to push aside the disconcerting feeling of him looking through her and seeing the truth. He never said anything and she chose to keep her resolution. Even if it hurt to do so she would continue to live her life as it was.


	26. Chapter Twentysix: Fixed

**********Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-six: Fixed**

He was the image of perfection. The grace of the snake had been bestowed upon him. He possessed charm and wit. No creature existed that was as noble as he.

That was what he told himself. He was without fault. Once he had been important. That had changed though, with time. He had now been transformed into a glorious creature.

Much of this was due to himself. He had grown and he had changed those problems that he had once possessed. The weaknesses had been made strengths. He had calmed himself. With much effort he had managed to make himself more like Hatori. His patience was greater than it had once been. He had begun to learn to not throw himself at his brother as he once had. Now he waited.

His new patience paid off. Yuki began to come to him on his own. Each time that Yuki walked through the door he felt a rush of excitement. He managed to contain it so that he did not throw himself at his brother. Sometimes he would slip. The first few times that happened Yuki had left. Then he didn't. Yuki would stay and though he appeared frustrated he would wait for him to calm down. His brother was recognizing his efforts.

Yuki was beginning to change as well. His brother was less cold and he was less prone to be angered by him. He had even gone so far as to try and visit him every weekend.

Such commitment had been a shock for him. Yuki was very busy with the university and he should be visiting his beloved Machi more than him, but it was for him that Yuki came. He treasured that more than anything else. Each time that the bell on his shop's door would twinkle he would fly to the entrance.

More often than not he terrified though customers who had come. A few had actually turned around and left. He didn't care. Those who had fled in fear had misunderstood. They didn't know the reason for his enthusiasm. They could not understand the joy that flooded his being each time that he heard the bell on the weekends. If they did understand they would have stayed and they would have listened to his story and they would smile with him.

He had earned that smile. The past few years had been difficult. Never had he been certain of who he was to Yuki. Even now, he was still not completely certain. Sometimes he felt as though he were walking backwards rather than moving forward. He had managed to succeed to an extent.

Yuki was talking with him. He was expressing interest in being the brothers that they were. Each day their bond was building itself up from what little there had once been. They had hope now.

Only one success could be considered his greatest achievement. He had made Yuki happy. The smile had been proof of that. Thought it had not lived long, it had still existed. He knew that not everything could be mended between them. He had hurt Yuki too much. That smile would remain his though.


	27. Chapter Twentyseven: Lost

_Author's Note: This chapter is probably my favorite so far. Enjoy._

**********Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-seven: Lost**

The picture was incomplete. She was not certain how, but something was not right. Whenever she looked at the image she felt as though someone was not there who was supposed to be.

Once she had asked her mother what was wrong with the image. Her had only looked confused and had asked her what she meant. She had trouble explaining. Her mother had only smiled and assured her that there was nothing wrong with the picture. Everything was as it should be.

She desperately wanted to believe her mother and for a short time she managed to. Nothing was wrong and she forgot that strange feeling whenever she looked at the image of her family. That facade shattered when she saw Momiji Sohma.

Never before had she met a person so fascinating. He was enthusiastic and wonderful to be near. When they did come into contact with each other he would only speak to her mother and she would just listen. Those moments were rare. Every time though, he would smile at her and she always felt so warm and happy that she wanted to cry.

The one time that she asked her mother about him she said that he was a member of the Sohma family. That made sense. What she didn't understand was the familiarity of him. Whenever she was near him she felt as though he should stay with her and her mother.

One day she heard him playing the violin. The music was beautiful and sad. She had cried. Later, she asked her father to let her learn to play the violin. After that Momiji disappeared. She later found him practicing at home rather than with master.

On more than one occasion she was able to sneak away and listen to him practice. He was perfect. She wanted to talk to him, but she didn't have the courage to.

The more that she lingered near him the more that she learned about him. He liked stuffed animals like her. He could also speak German and she was learning. She felt much stronger about him. The feeling was familiar and she knew that she loved him.

She asked her mother more questions about Momiji, but only learned that he was in high school. Her mother asked if she liked him. She said yes. Her mother then asked if she had a crush on Momiji. She blushed, but didn't know. Later her mother told her father about her crush. She was surprised when she saw how upset her father was. He told her to stay away from Momiji and she wondered why.

Her feelings for Momiji were strange. She felt as though she would be able to understand if she could talk with him. Her father had forbidden her to see him though and so she was left alone. She felt as though she was stuck in a maze and that she was completely lost.

Momiji did have the same hair and eyes as she and her mother. That seemed important. Was he what was wrong with the picture? She didn't know, but that felt right. Maybe he was her brother though, that idea seemed impossible. She would know if she had a brother. Father refused to talk about Momiji so she was stuck in the dark. She wished that she knew everything because then maybe he would be with her and she could tell him that she loved him; if she had the courage to.


	28. Chapter Twentyeight: Enigma

**********Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-eight: Enigma**

Nothing was as it had been. The past was the past and everyone was slowly forgetting. She didn't know what to do about that. How was she supposed to feel? How was she supposed to act? How was she supposed to live?

Too long had she been operating a certain set of beliefs. Her father had said that she was God. That had shaped her growth along with her mother's hatred. She had held onto what was hers so that she would not be alone. At times she had been cruel. She was hated, but even if she did not possess their love she did have them. The cursed were hers and they understood that.

Then that all fell apart. She should have known. Never before had the Jade Emperor been born human. She was the first and the last. All of the animals should have been a clue that she had recognized. She had not though.

The banquet existing again had just made her so happy. Even having the cat had just been so wonderful. Yes, the spirit was disgusting, but they were all there. They all had belonged to her.

All of that had come to an end. She was heartbroken. What was she supposed to do? Shigure had managed to help her to become happy. That was difficult and remained so because she still did not know how to feel such a way. It was simple enough to pretend. It was safer.

These new feelings were dangerous. They left her feeling weak. It was too easy to take advantage of such positive emotions. She had to open up and let others in. that was difficult for her.

Yes, Shigure was helping. She was appreciative of his efforts. He was good to her. She couldn't help but wonder how honest his affections were. As much as she didn't want to she could not help but doubt him. At times she felt as though she was being manipulated. Something in his smile unsettled her. She wondered if she was in fact being used and if she was just something for him to toy with. Had his love died after she had slept with Kureno? Shigure said that he loved her and that he was devoted, but she wondered if maybe he knew that she would believe him because unlike the others he had not abandoned her.

The uncertainty of the situation was maddening. She should not be feeling this way. It was not right. The lifting of the curse had been a second chance for her.

Yes, she had resisted. She had been terrified though. In truth she had wanted freedom. Even if she did have to sacrifice being the container for the Jade Emperor in exchange for a chance for normality, to be loved by the other possessed. Even having that affection was uncertain.

While she had put much effort in being a more benevolent head of the family, to be the person who they needed and who she needed to be, she felt like a failure. Most of the thirteen refused to be around her. Yuki showed some willingness, but that would only last so long. She knew that Yuki still resented her. Then there was Kyo. He refused to speak to her, but he would visit her. She knew that it was only because of Tohru that he did this. The only ones who did not turn away were Hatori, Ayame, Kureno, and her Shigure.

They had known her before her father's death and knew who she truly was. She had not thought that Hatori would stay, but he said that he had forgiven her. When she learned that she had wept. Ayame, she believed, stayed only because of Hatori and Shigure. His willingness to remain could be honest, but she was not certain. He confused her so. Then there was Kureno who had remained her friend, but he had grown distant.

How everything had changed saddened her. She was broken by this and by who she was or was not. What she was supposed to do she didn't know. She didn't know who to be or how to show them that life had changed and that she had truly changed for the better. She just didn't know and it was painful and hard. With her entire being she wished that she knew. This new life and what she was to make of it was obscure to her though.


	29. Chapter Twentynine: Hate

**************Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Twenty-nine: Hate**

The stories ate away at her. He had been reluctant to speak at first, but she knew that he needed to vent. It wasn't healthy to hold onto those negative emotions. Even though he hid his pain well she had seen it in his eyes. Just like with Tohru, his true feelings would appear whenever he thought that she wasn't looking.

When she had finally convinced him that it was okay to trust her with whatever was troubling him, it was as if a dam had cracked and then broken apart. At first he would speak briefly of his past and with vague language. Gradually though, he began to tell her more until at last everything was spilling out.

Being a used lover.

Being one part of an affair.

Being isolated.

Losing sense of the world.

Not knowing friends or family.

Forgetting himself.

Being only with _her_.

That woman... She had not even met her and she despised her with her entire being. If she ever met her alone on the street she knew that she would hurt her as much as he had been hurt.

Kureno seemed to know this for he had told her not to do anything. This was his past and _she_ had changed. It took some convincing, but she did agree. She could see that if she did do something that it would hurt him and that was the last thing that she wanted to do. He had lived through enough. She was to heal him; not make him sadder.

This agreement worked well enough. She pushed any ill will towards the head of the Sohma family to the back of her mind. However, she couldn't completely bury it.

The scars of what had happened to him were very much visible. She often traced the lingering mark from when he had been stabbed. Then there were nights when she would be woken by him tossing and turning, pleading quietly to _that_ woman. His nightmares affected her more than anything else.

She would say nothing. They both understood each other's feelings about the matter. As Kureno said, "Nothing could be done about the past." She had to remind herself of this each time that he told her stories or she saw the scar or when he had another nightmare. He was happier. That was what mattered.

Then she found herself at the Sohma Estate. She had been here before with Hana, Tohru, and carrot top. This time was different because she had to go to the heart of the estate, the home of _that_ woman. Kureno had said that it would be a good idea if she met with _her _before the New Year's banquet. She didn't want to meet her because she didn't know if she could trust herself to keep her word. For Kureno though, she agreed.

She didn't bother making herself look like some false person. No, that woman would see who Kureno had chosen. With Kyoko's coat draped comfortably over her shoulders, she entered that room. She didn't notice anyone at first. Then Shigure showed himself. He had not changed. Looking past the older male she then saw the frail figure on the porch. The woman's head turned slightly and then she stood and welcomed them.

Her hatred for Akito burned fiercely. Kureno seemed to recognize this for he had quickly grabbed her hand. Despite her contempt she did nothing because _this _woman was not the horror of Kureno's past. She could sense the shadow of that person, but the Akito that stood before her seemed weak and uncertain. While she was certain that this woman was strong, any strength that she might have had was now gone because she could taste the fear that the woman possessed of her. That gave her more than a little satisfaction.

So she greeted her and acted as her charming self because there was nothing to worry about. Akito was not a threat.


	30. Chapter Thirty: Lies

**************Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Thirty: Lies**

He was okay. What was there for him to be troubled by? His life was ideal. Compared to the others he had little to fear or to worry about.

While he lived in seclusion he was not privy to the same suffering that the others experienced. Physical abuse did not occur. He did not have to spend days and nights in the hospital. His body did not have to heal from wounds. His mind was not troubled by fear. He did not have to worry about nightmares. Unlike the others he was safe.

His attachment to her kept him safe or perhaps it was the lack of attachment. He could leave. At any moment he could step through the door and disappear. No one would ever see him again.

She had cried. Those tears stopped him. Because of her he had promised to remain. He could break his word, but he was the only one who was capable of staying.

That was his downfall. He had made himself a hermit for her. His life was devoid of anything that could be considered good for him. Yes, he had chosen this path, but he was tired. Those he knew consisted of only those who were the closest to Akito. The walls were the same each day. His schedule was monotonous. Everything that he had and would ever have was the same drab gray.

When he had earned his freedom he had been at peace. His shoulders felt straighter and he was lifted up somehow. He had felt everything opening up for him. Then he had closed himself to all of that because of her tears. He had said that it was okay – that it would be okay.

Then he had stepped out into the world. He was so lost. The world seemed to have changed and had missed it. He didn't know what to do and then he met her. That beautiful peace had returned. He just wanted to grab hold of her and keep it this time, but then he remembered his promise. After telling himself that he would be happy for her he left and managed to keep himself from looking back.

He would go to the end of the Earth for her. He alone would do that for her because he still cared for her. What happened to her was of importance because she was dear to him and he couldn't bear to see her hurt. After everything that she had experienced in her life so far, she needed loyalty and security. It was his duty to give that to her and he was happy to do so. She treated him with the same respect that he gave her. Stumbles in their relationship were only that. The knife had meant nothing.

She had begged him to stay. She had cried. How could he turn his back on her? He meant something to her. He was someone to her. This life was what he wanted. He was happy... Yes, he was happy.


	31. Chapter Thirtyone: Tears

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

_Author's Note: I realized that this chapter applies to more than one couple. The intended pair is Isuzu and Haru though, I would be interested in who else was characterized._

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**Chapter Thirty-one: Tears**

So much power existed within something so simple and so natural. That seemed impossible and yet it was true. Perhaps that was why she was so terrified of them. They wielded so much power over himself and her.

When he had first met her he had blamed himself for making her cry. There was no real reason for him to. She had not blamed him. Still, for a while, he placed himself in the wrong whenever she cried. Those tears always broke his heart. He always felt that he had done something, but he never had or if he did, he had managed to make her happy. She never understood why he blamed himself. Eventually he was able to explain why though, it had taken two years to do so. Then she had smiled and hugged him; leaving him to wonder if these actions possessed greater power.

He was uncertain of what to make of her at times. She was confusing because she seemed to fear those emotions that she released. For him, it was strange that she would be so resistant to the act of shedding tears. After everything that she had lived through he understood the sense of it being a sign of weakness. That alone should not make her so stubborn; especially around him.

On several occasions he had told her that she would never appear weak in his eyes nor would he think any less of her if she cried. She had said that she knew that, but she couldn't help it. When he asked for her to explain she would just become silent. He tried not to ask her that too much. She shutting him out was the last thing that he wanted. That fact that she had begun to let herself cry even a little around him should have been enough; even if she did berate herself afterwards. He wished that she wouldn't, but it couldn't be helped. She was afraid of herself.

The prospect of losing him was one that she did not want to risk since they were reunited. He knew that she wanted to keep her home even if it meant denying herself the release of all of the pent up emotions from years' past.

As much as he wanted her to face those emotions he could not force her to. It was her decision to face her demons and to accept them rather than to ignore them. She had to choose to not lock her tears away once they crept out and trailed down her face. Acceptance would make her stronger and she would have to learn that. Right now though, it was all too much for her.

He could see her fragility when she was faced with her own personal onslaught of emotions. That worried him more because her tears became those of fear and he didn't want that. She shouldn't be afraid of herself.

The only comfort that he had was when she was happy. While she still shied away, she did not do so completely. At those times she seemed a bit more calm and her smile lingered longer. That was a different power that knocked him over completely.


	32. Chapter Thirtytwo: Sky

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither affiliation nor ownership.**

_Author's Note: I was not certain of who to write of at first and then I thought of the former cat, Kazuma's grandfather. Hopefully it turned out._

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**Chapter Thirty-two: Sky**

The day was a clear one. Any lingering remnants of the storm had passed leaving not even a wisp of white behind. The smell of rain lingered with the damp grass. Through the window he could see the day unfold.

Some birds were bathing in lingering puddles. A few people passed by, mostly servants; their steps hurried. They kept their distance. He watched them until no one else appeared. He heard fluttering and then the birds flew past him and up into the sky.

The door to the room opened and a tray was slipped in before the door was closed and locked once more. He glanced behind him and saw the same indulgent breakfast. Akira insured that he was well fed. It seemed to him an apology for his current state. The sound of laughter brought his attention back to the outdoors.

Summer seemed to prompt children to rise early. The morning was cooler than the afternoon would be. He could understand why the youth would force themselves to rise before the high temperatures became overwhelming. They were eager to seek the freedom that was life and to completely immerse themselves in it; ignorant of the worry that would possess them in later life.

The complete lack of concern of what was to come caused him to feel connected to them in some small part. He had known his fate since the age of three. After a few tantrums he had accepted what could not be changed and instead embraced each day. Now that he was imprisoned he still knew his fate. He knew that at some point he would die. He had accepted that and was not bothered by the fear of death. This recognition allowed him to be able to continue on without concern. Though his life was the meager one of a hermit, he was quite happy.

The head of the family had supplied him with reading material, games, and other activities which he could use to pass the time. He had lost track of the number of books that he had read over the past several years. His mind had opened up and in doing so his imagination had grown. With all of the ideas that filtered through his mind he almost felt like a child again. The world was full of possibilities and nothing could hinder him except for these walls.

The sound of laughter caused him to smile. Which game were they playing today? Were they being chased by youkai or were they samurai engaged in an intense battle? Perhaps they were hunting for treasure or were mimicking a Western story about cowboys and Indians.

He could only guess. No clues were given to him so that he could unravel the mystery of their current game. He could only hear laughter and-

Yes... He knew now. They were playing baseball. That was one of the favorite games of the children of the estate. His generation had loved the sport as well. He had never participated in the fun. Almost everyone had been afraid of him. That had been okay. He had been content with just watching and imagining that he was a baseball prodigy who the other children worshiped.

Every once in a while he would imagine himself to be a hero among men. However, he normally found such thoughts to be limiting and hazardous. Trapped though he was, he could not risk ideas of grandeur making him mourn his current life. He could not risk forgetting the freedom that he possessed with this existence nor the possibilities that awaited him in the future.


	33. Chapter Thirtythree: Voice

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither affiliation nor ownership.**

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**Chapter Thirty-three: Voice**

"You can be a grump sometimes."

"A grump?"

"Yes."

"How did you come up with that conclusion?"

"You don't smile enough."

"No?"

"No."

He had not known what to think about what she had said then. Similar names had been given to him in the past. He normally did not think too much about that, but he did with her. Something about the way that she called him a grump made him look at her rather than ignore her like everyone else. She was smiling and he wondered if she was teasing him.

"Why is that?"

"Why is what?"

He had known what she meant, but he had wanted to hear her say it.

"Why are you such a grump?"

She was almost grinning now. This must be some sort of game. He guessed that he could play along.

"That is just how I am."

"That isn't an answer."

"Yes, it is."

She pouted and he resisted a smile. He was tempted to kiss her then, but he didn't. Instead he lowered his gaze and turned his attention back to his notes. This needed to be done, but he couldn't focus on his work now.

"There has to be a reason."

"Not everything has a reason."

"Liar."

He raised an eyebrow at her, but she only smiled.

"I'm a liar?"

"Yes."

She was quiet then. He wondered if she had given up on the game. Her attention was on whatever lay beyond the window.

"Is it because of the curse?"

The game was done. He didn't like the serious tone that had been adopted. She was the one person who he would talk to about the curse, but he did not want to now; not today.

"Hatori?"

Looking at her he felt that he was able to tell her anything that she wanted to know. He needed to want to talk though. He didn't know if he could tell her this. He wasn't even certain that he knew the reason himself. It was psychological; that at least he was certain of. How was he to know how fully the curse had impacted his mental health, how much that it had closed him off to anything good in the world?

"I was just born a grump."

"Tell me later?"

He had only nodded his agreement. Now he wished that he had told her then because he had not told her later. He had never gotten another chance to tell her why. Because of this he had to carry the reason with him. He did not trust anyone else enough to open up so much as he had before with her.

"It's snowing again."

She had always looked so beautiful when she smiled. The snow always managed to bring that radiance out of her.

"You should smile more."

Whenever he was around her he couldn't help but to smile. She made him happy. That was something that he had never thought that he would ever have. Sometimes he wished that the joy had lasted longer even though he would always treasure their time together; as brief as it had been.

"Well, you will just have to stay with me then."

He would never forget how she had smiled then. That memory made life worth living. He needed only to think of that and what she had said last.

"I think that I can do that."


	34. Chapter Thirtyfour: Fear

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Thirty-four: Fear**

He had been around many people in his life. While his immediate family was mostly absent he had been lucky enough to have his cousins to support him. They made certain that he was given the love that he could not have from his mother. Even though it was not the same it was enough. He in turn gave his cousins the same love to them. He insured that they would always love each other.

While he would sometimes feel alone, his spirits were always lifted by Haru who would sit with him until he would talk or the bad feelings vanished.

Then Tohru appeared and he experienced the unconditional love that he had never really known. She looked at him and he felt like only he mattered. However, these feelings also brought fear. He knew, like his cousins did, that Tohru could be snatched away by Akito. She may be made to forget them all. He couldn't bare the thought of that happening because she didn't reject him. She didn't look at him like he was a monster. Only love was in her eyes and he couldn't live if he lost that.

He only wanted to keep her with him. Even if she did not love him like she did Kyo he could still keep her near. That he could live with. He was content with just having their friendship.

Then the curse had been lifted. A loneliness that he had never before known had seized him. While he was happy to be free, he no longer had the spirit of the rabbit. The one whom he had known since birth was suddenly gone without warning. He felt as if a part of him had died.

Kyo took Tohru away then and he no longer had her at his side to just smile at him. Phone calls and letters did only so much. When they spoke he couldn't let himself be sorry because she sounded the happiest that she had ever been.

Haru did his best to help him, but he had both his and Rin's freedom to occupy his time. Though Haru never spoke about it, he knew that they would both be leaving soon enough.

Momo hardly left his side. After she had learned that they were in fact brother and sister she seemed terrified that he might suddenly vanish. She had made him promise that he would never leave. He had done so gladly.

He was happy to have her with him finally. Momo helped him to not think about how the rabbit's spirit had gone and how he felt around their mother. While his mother now remembered him, neither of them knew how to act around each other. He felt like a terrified child most of the time and in a way he was. He lived with the fear that he would be rejected again. She had regained her memories, but did she really want them? Now that he was not cursed did she love him like she was supposed to?

It felt wrong to question her in this way. Each time that she should have smiled at him and didn't, he couldn't help but wonder.


	35. Chapter Thirtyfive: Sin

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither affiliation nor ownership.**

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**Chapter Thirty-five: Sin**

Their relationship had never been smiled upon. She had not been welcomed with open arms nor was she ever accepted afterwards. In the eyes of the family she was a temptress who had lured the family head to her bed through use of her wiles. She was the she-demon who had possessed the family. Her poisonous embrace had been his doom. Never mind that she had loved Akira.

She had not been the family's bane. No, the only sin that had occurred was the birth of Akito. That girl had ruined everything. Akito had stained the Sohma family name more than she had ever been said to have. Akira had fallen into the thrall of their daughter and he had died because of it.

This 'god' had brought terror to the family. Akito had brought back the banquet in its entirety. She had told her daughter that she would never be loved by the cursed. Akira had been wrong. This great being was the true curse and she had been proven right.

Akito had tortured the possessed. She mastered a great circus where they did only what she wanted. If someone fell out of line then they were punished.

She pitied the juunishi and how Akito toyed with them. Still, she hated them more for following her will. She managed to seduce one of them to her bed. He had been more than willing to lay with her. Shigure had been one of the four who had come to her with tears in his eyes, laying his hands on her stomach. She had been worshiped then because she had been the great deity who had conceived the one who would be the true she-demon. That night he had worshiped her again.

Never before had she seen her daughter so angry. She could only smile because she had hurt her. She had taken Akito's lover away like Akito had hers. Shigure had been sent away and she became the true enemy. This victory had been grand even if coupling with Shigure had further ostracized her from the family.

Her increased seclusion had been beneficial. With Akito's hold become tight enough to strange, the spurt of the horse sought freedom. This Rin became of use to her. The girl was so eager for a solution. So she told her what she wanted to hear. A way to break the curse did exist and Akito was in possession of it.

The girl had failed to retrieve the box. This made the situation more difficult now that Akito was on her guard. She needed to get the box again. By doing so she could get Akira back. Akito would no longer hold onto his soul.

Akira... That woman had betrayed him. She had taken his soul and then gave it to Akito. His soul was not hers to possess. He had been her husband. She was the one who was meant to hold onto his soul, to keep it safe for eternity. But he had been stolen and she would not allow such a sin to go unnoticed. Even if it meant destroying her own daughter to save him... No matter what it took she would have him back.


	36. Chapter Thirtysix: Wings

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

* * *

**C****hapter Thirty-six: Wings**

To have known this, to have known her... This was beyond his comprehension. He had never thought that the would have this experience.

Before now he had been terrified for Kisa, his mother... Especially Kisa; at least until he found out that his mother was pregnant. Never was he worried about himself. He didn't have a reason to.

For one reason or another he was safe. He did not experience the same physical and mental abuse that the others like him suffered. That is, he didn't until Kisa. Once he really began to see her he then had to live with the knowledge that she could be hurt because of him. This made him more obedient than he had once been. After everything that had happened, how could he not be?

He never really thought about being freed. His main concern was doing whatever it took to insure that Kisa was safe. He knew that Rin was actively searching for a way to break the curse and he fully supported her efforts, though he did so quietly. A part of him thought that the endeavor was hopeless and that she was taking a foolish risk, especially after the 'accident'. If she was willing to endanger herself then that was her decision. He could not stop her. After Tohru began to help Rin he figured that they had a very good chance of breaking the curse between the two of them.

However, he couldn't be bothered by the curse. His only interest in the matter was that Kisa might have a chance at a normal life. She deserved freedom. He did not. Especially after he had failed her.

Then Hinata was born and he began to care just a little. At first he had not. He was more concerned with his mother and the fact that she suffered from a severe case of clumsiness. The number of times that she had almost fallen were innumerable. With the way that she flounced around like was a fairy and her wings would keep her from falling, he was shocked that she didn't injure herself or Hinata. Maybe she did have wings. He couldn't think about that too much. Each time that she so much as wobbled he felt as though he was going to have a heart attack. By the time that Hinata was delivered he was an anxious mess.

He was able to relax then. His mother was ordered to remain in bed for one month so he didn't have to worry about her falling or dropping his sister. Though he doubted that his mother would actually drop Hinata, there were such things as accidents.

However, he didn't have much to worry about. His mother was miraculously graceful for once thirty days passed. He figured that the hormones were the reason. This did allow him to return to normal as much as an infant would allow.

When he was watching Hinata or playing with her, he wondered if she was the chance to prove that he could care and protect Kisa in the future by successfully doing so for Hinata now. Their mother said that he was an excellent older brother. Kisa agreed and he liked to think that Hinata thought so too. She was always smiling at him.

Then everything changed. When he was watching Hinata he suddenly felt free. The feeling was strange. He had immediately taken Hinata into his arms and held her close. His mother had wept. He was... happy. He didn't know how else to describe how he felt. All that he could do was thank Hinata for she seemed to be the reason for his freedom having happened.


	37. Chapter Thirtyseven: Rose

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-seven: Rose**

The reason was unknown to him. He could hardly begin to comprehend all of the possible reasons. What he did know was the cause, which was Akito.

When he first learned of the 'accident' he had been numb. Of course no one knew that he had been so greatly impacted by the news. Maybe Kazuma and Hatori had. If they did, they didn't say anything about it.

Hatori had driven them to the hospital. He had sat in the backseat, staring at his hands. Kazuma had kept a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. His master had known how protective he was of Rin. However, he couldn't find solace. He just did not understand. Rin had been perfectly fine when he had last seen her and that had only been a few hours earlier. The fact that she was suddenly not okay was completely overwhelming. Hatori had not yet explained what had happened and he had not thought to ask. The reason just did not seem to be important right now. He just needed to make sure that she was okay. If this had been another attack... Well, they had gotten through that before.

When he had finally been allowed to see her he knew that this had not been another attack. Her body had not betrayed her again. Still, she did not ask what had happened. He only took her hand and stood by her bed. For that moment he just took in her appearance. She was pale; paler than he had ever seen her. This was worse than anything that had happened before.

"Haru."

He sat down, ignoring Hatori for now. Squeezing her hand, he hoped for some sort of response even though there was none.

"Isuzu fell."

"How?"

"We're not sure."

He didn't believe him.

"She was seen with Akito prior to being found."

"Did he push her?"

"We don't know."

They both knew that was a lie.

He squeezed her hand again before gently petting it with his free hand. Was she in pain now? He couldn't imagine how she could not be. He hoped that she wasn't. She already lived with too much pain.

"The surgeons were able to repair her shoulder."

For as strong as she was, she was fragile. She was so easily broken. Why hadn't he been there to keep her safe, to keep her well? She had needed him. He could make certain that he tended to her every need now. Perhaps she would forgive him.

"When will she wake up?"

Kazuma had asked the question that he was afraid to ask.

"It has not yet been determined if Isuzu has retained any head trauma. I cannot say."

He didn't want to hear that. To know that she might not wake up soon... He had not wanted to think about how a week would pass before she opened her eyes.

She had woken when he had kissed her. The nurses had convinced him to go home for that night and he had just meant to kiss her goodbye until morning. Then she woke and she smiled and he felt that maybe the worst had passed; that they would be able to get through this.


	38. Chapter Thirtyeight: Toxic

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Thirty-eight: Toxic**

Had others known that he was no longer the rooster, they would have called him an idiot. This would happen between them wanting to know how and why he had agreed to remain. He had the chance to escape. Her tears though were a sight that he could not stand. That was the reason that he had remained by her side before he was freed. At least, that was what he told himself.

Akito was dear to him. She had been an important part of his life before she had ever been born. He had never thought that he would be of similar importance to her. She had always been preoccupied with Shigure. Maybe he had been jealous knowing that Shigure was her favorite. He knew that at one point, when he was younger, that he had desired more of her favor. Then she chose him.

The night was one that he would never forget. He had thought that he had done something that had gained her attention. The next day though, she had told him that she had slept with him because she was scared. Shigure had confessed his love for her. They were to forget what had happened. He managed to until Shigure found out. Akito later told him that Shigure had slept with her mother. Why Shigure would risk losing Akito to lay with that vile woman he could not understand.

Akito had wept. He had embraced her again, had promised her that he would never leave. Later, he would begin to regret his decision. She needed so much after Shigure's betrayal and he struggled to make sure that she had everything. To him though, it never seemed to be enough. Akito never returned to the woman who she had been before the affair. She became cruel, sinking deeper into the embrace of her own decision.

He felt himself changing and he knew that he had several years later. His thoughts were dark. He considered doing thing that had never before crossed his mind. Only once did he hurt himself. Akito never knew. He didn't want her to misunderstand and think that he was trying to leave her. Never could she consider such a lie to be truth.

Then his curse was broken. He had been enjoying the feeling of no longer carrying a heavy weight. Then Akito had run to him, crying. She begged him not to leave her. He considered the oddity that he no longer felt connected to her. However, he could not bring himself to leave her. Those tears...

They laid in bed together for the next two days. She kept a tight hold on him and he allowed it. Several times she made him promise not to tell the others that his curse had been broken. She cried each time. He made the promise until she seemed to be assured that nothing more would change. A bitter taste was left in his mouth that wouldn't go away.

One day he stepped outside. He had become so much of a recluse that he was completely lost. Yet, he was glad to have gone out despite not knowing where to go. His steps felt lighter than they had for a while now. Then he met her, Arisa. She was so different from Akito. He was surprised that he had been able to leave her because he hadn't wanted to go. Something about her was right.

He had returned to the Sohma Estate and to Akito. The moment he stepped through the gate he felt the strangling embrace return.


	39. Chapter Thirty-nine: Greed

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Thirty-nine: Greed**

Before Tohru had come to the house he had not recognized the hole in his heart. He had known that it existed, but he refused to acknowledge it. She changed that. With each smile he felt lifted. She cared for him like no one else had. He didn't know if she knew how much that he craved her attention.

Yes, he knew that he loved her. He had told her as much once he got the nerve to do so. Sometimes he wished that he was in love with her. Then he could have kept her rather than allow Kyo to carry her away so easily. They were in love with each other. Even if he had managed to convince himself that he was in love with her, he wasn't sure how long the relationship would have surprised. If relations between them had died then he would have truly lost her. That would have killed both of them.

When Tohru had thought that she might lose her memory, she asked him to remain her friend. The intention was pure. He had wanted their friendship to last too. She was a treasure and he wanted to hold onto her.

After coming to terms with the fact that he saw Tohru as a mother figure, he began to feel like the selfish child. He didn't like it when people, specifically other men, began to express interest in her. No one deserved her and probably never would. However, he couldn't keep her from being happy so he settled with protecting her from a distance. He was unable to take great care of her, not like she did for him. No, Kyo had done that.

Maybe that was why she fell in love with Kyo. He had thought that her desire to care for Kyo had warped her feelings, but that was not the case. If only she had fallen for Momiji. He didn't make a fuss about it because Kyo was capable of having a normal relationship, his curse had allowed that. Besides, he knew that Kyo could do everything for her that she needed.

Yes, he wished them happiness. Even after she and Kyo moved away he hoped that she would continue to smile. Even though he had Machi, he still missed Tohru desperately. She made certain to kill him at least once every few days. While he would pretend that he was not bothered he was certain that she knew otherwise. She had become more in time with his emotions ever since she realized that she was the mother figure.

Tohru made certain that he continued to receive all of the compassion that his mother had never given him. She made certain that he continued to heal. He appreciated her efforts so much. However, he began to hate himself for telling her that he was okay and that he could stand on his own now because of her. She had taught him to trust people again. Because of her he had been able to fall in love, to make friends, to seek freedom. He had been able to release himself from the curse. She was no longer needed. He could just keep her as a friend. However, he couldn't bring himself to let go. He was unwilling to lose her in any manner.


	40. Chapter Forty: Epitaph

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Forty: Epitaph**

The grave marker was marked only be his name- Honda, Katsuya. That name was so powerful. Now though, here where he now lay, it seemed to mean nothing. Who really understood how important of a person that he had been.

A dedicated teacher.

He alone had made her care about a future. Before him she could have cared less about whether or not she had passed her classes much less graduated. She never did graduate, but she did come to realize the importance of an education.

A good friend.

She could never say that she ever had a true friend until Katsuya. At one time she had imagined that her former gang had been both family and friends. However she had learned otherwise. While she had known the cost of leaving the gang she did not feel the full impact until afterwards. The knowledge that she no longer had their support had been a heavy burden. Katsuya had helped her through the transition. He helped her to rise above who she had once been and to remain who she had become.

A hard worker.

Never had she seen a man more dedicated than he. Every project that he started he saw through to the end. He didn't give up when the situation became difficult. Maybe he was more stubborn than hard working. She certain became frustrated with he and his determination at times, but she loved him more for it.

A good son.

He never asked, "Why did you have me?" Instead he was thankful to his parents for giving birth to him. His father seemed to know this for they loved each other greatly. Maybe that was why his father had been accepting of her.

His father had embraced her like a daughter. He never frowned at their marriage. The man had gone so far as to say that she had changed Katsuya rather than he having changed her. She was not certain of this. How could he not though? From him she learned of the resentment that had once existed between them. If she had helped that cloud to pass... But then, maybe the honor was better deserved to Tohru.

A loving father.

Katsuya had always been gentle. After Tohru was born he had become more so than before. He saw so much better than her at being a parent too. While she panicked he took everything with a cool grace. He made jokes with Tohru at her expense, teaching their daughter not to panic as she often did. Then again, he never hit her in the face with a cupboard door.

A strong lover.

Husband might be more appropriate for the cemetery, but he had been more than that for her. He had loved her. It was he who had made her stop asking why no one cared about her. He showed her that she was to live to her fullest potential. She needed to love herself first and then she could love others. However, she had loved him first because as far as she was concerned they were one soul. When he had died...

She wished that she had died with him. To have had him ripped away in the manner that he had been... She wanted to be with him.

Katsuya had taught her to love others. Between them they had created Tohru and she loved their daughter dearly. Tohru needed her and she had to be there for her.

Honor.


	41. Chapter Forty-one: Perfidy

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

_Author's Note: After an extended break this is being updated again. There are several chapters in the progress and quite a few completed so this should be active for a while._

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**Chapter Forty-one: Perfidy**

Akito had chosen to lay with Kureno. He did not know why she had done so. Had she grown bored with their relationship? Was he not giving her enough attention? He thought about confronting her, but decided against doing so. Instead he gave her time to tell him. She did not. Rather she acted as though nothing had happened. The lack of guilt bothered him more than the affair did.

He had not intended to cheat on her. No... He did plan to do so. She had hurt him and he wanted to hurt her more.

Ren had been the obvious choice. He being with that woman would guarantee Akito being harmed to the greatest degree. That woman had welcomed him with open arms. She was as inclined to harm Akito as he was. At first he had felt a little guilty. Then he had forgotten that. Afterwards he had washed the stink of that woman off of him. He did not feel guilty again, but he was amused.

Only a few hours after the act he had been summoned to Akito's quarters. The staff had whispered behind his back and gave him dark looks when he glanced at them. That was a little bit irritating; not so much so as seeing Hatori at Akito's door. The look that the good doctor gave him was enough to make him briefly question the wisdom of his actions.

He had never seen Akito so angry before. She had screamed at him. He had definitely accomplished his goal. The harsh words had only lasted a few minutes before she had fallen silent. Her silence was definitely worse, but better still because he knew how to handle her silence. Still, this one caused his skin to crawl. He managed to keep a straight face. Crossing his arms he stared at her back. Her shoulders were slumped and she seemed to be drowning in her robe. She wouldn't look at him.

"Why?"

"You slept with Kureno."

Her eyes were wide in shock when she looked at him. It seemed that it had never crossed her mind that he might bite her hand if she hurt him.

"What?"

He only smiled at her. She stood up and he thought that she was going to fall. Her movements, everything about her, were weak. When she looked at him again he saw the single tear first. He had won. Then he saw her eyes. He had broken her. Had he meant to do that? Yes, in a way he supposed that he did. She needed to learn a lesson.

Then she snapped. The few vases in the room shattered either at his feet or when they struck the wall. She managed to hit him with the last one. When she threw herself at him he decided to make his escape. Dripping blood he stumbled out of the room and slumped against the wall. Hatori held Akito back.

"Go!"

He didn't have to be told twice. Glancing over his shoulder at Akito he then retreated. She continued to scream at him.

"Get out!"


	42. Chapter Forty-two: Wrath

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Forty-two: Wrath**

Neither of them had bothered to understand. They had pretended to, but she knew that they didn't really care. She was just a disappointment.

Since a child she had come to accept this as a fact. What else could it be? She had certainly never imagined not having good enough no matter what she did. Each attempt to please them was met with a frown or the offhand comment that she could have done better.

Did they realize what that did to her? Did they know how much they had hurt her? Why wasn't she good enough? She was smart. She was able to function in society.

Her friends said that they were no so bad. They didn't live with them though. Her family was not theirs. None of them knew what it was like.

When the new family stepped forward she had eagerly joined them. They cared for her. There was no love, but her accomplishments were rewarded and for once she meant something; she was someone. For how great they were when she finally became strong enough to stand on her own, the backlash was stranger. She felt as though she had crawled out of the grave; exhausted and in pain. At that moment she hated them.

She was not certain which was worse, knowing the gang or being kicked out by those who had born her. In a way the latter was worse. Despite everything she still loved her parents. While she did not doubt their affection for her, she knew that their love was denied. Anything about her had been swept away because of who she was and what she represented- Dishonor. Disappointment. Opposition. Betrayal.

At least with the gang she had known that there was no honest love.

Even when life had become better she had moments when she questioned Katsuya's honesty. These were dark days. At first she would lash out. His silence frustrated her. A few times she had considered leaving, but didn't. He would hold her, comfort her. Then she felt like a monster.

What kind of person would question his motives? Who would question the one they loved? Why would she still doubt Katsuya after everything? How could she?

Because he was good. Everything was beginning to fit together and it was due to his efforts. What had she done? She had a left a gang, her family, herself- all of that behind. Then she had leaned on him so heavily that she was awed by the fact that he didn't bend. How could she let him carry her? She was so week and yet he still held her despite everything that she had done.

It was infuriating. She could hardly understand even if he had made the fact clear to her multiple times. This whole situation-

Katsuya said that it would take time to adjust. She knew that even if she would have preferred that all these feelings would disappear overnight. He had smiled when she had told him that and then said that we weren't so lucky. Humans were too emotional.

If only he wasn't right. It was tiring to carry this darkness that kept growing and wouldn't be quelled.

At the end Katsuya told her to transform the hate and if she couldn't do that then they would just have to find another way.


	43. Chapter Forty-three: Catatonic

******Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

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**Chapter Forty-three: Catatonic**

The box had been empty. Akira was gone. The soul that should have existed had long ago fled. The box had only been a symbol of what had been lost. It was meant to keep hope alive in her and to make her feel secure in Akira's absence.

The servant would have been better off giving the box to _that _woman instead of her. She no longer needed it; had actually not needed it for several months now. Perhaps she had never truly needed the farce that her father's soul lingering behind. She had probably disillusioned herself into thinking that it was necessary for him to still be here for the sake of her own sanity.

No... She no longer needed the box where as her mother... That woman had tortured her for years. Even when she had managed to shut her away in another part of the estate her mother's hold was still strong. She had remained in disguise for years to please her. That woman had taken Shigure, had defiled him. Then she had tried to steal from her again.

The act had been desperate. She supposed that she could have killed that woman then. No one would have questioned her decision. At least not those who knew everything that woman had done. She had not struck that fatal blow.

Later she would reflect on how that woman's eyes had changed. A different madness had overcome her once she learned that the box was empty. She supposed that was when that woman was broken.

The woman who had been Ren now sat in a white room. Her back was to her as she stared out the window. She didn't know if that woman was even aware that she was being watched. Hatori had explained to her that it was unlikely that Ren knew that she was here. That mattered little to her. She still kept a door between them. Even though Hatori had assured her that Ren would neither move or talk she would not risk any interaction with that woman.

A few times she thought to bring the box here. The box was the reason that she had been finally able to remove that woman from the estate without argument or any other form of resistance. That woman had just been carried away while murmuring to herself before eventually falling still and silence once in her new residence. It was to insure that woman was safe and did not harm herself that Hatori had recommended her removal. She had agreed for the sake of her own well being.

Would it be worthwhile to give that box to that woman? It would probably rest on her lap for the remainder of that woman's life. The chance also existed that it would return her to life, but what she be like then? She could only assume that woman would wake up from her stupor more insane than before. That woman would want to return to the estate and then what?

The box would remain only as a memory and that woman would remain in a white room. She had no desire to become stuck in that nightmare again.


	44. Chapter Forty-four: Stygian

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I claim neither ownership nor affiliation.**

_Stygian: dark and gloomy; infernal; hellish; relating to the River Styx._

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**Chapter Forty-four: Stygian**

For a moment she wondered if this was all worthwhile. Was this the life that she was actually destined for? It seemed unlikely. Why would she have been placed in such a situation? What was the purpose of it? Was this just another part of the curse?

She hated the curse. Once, when she was younger, it had not bothered her so much. Her mother was a little more protective than the others, but that had not been a problem. She knew that she was lucky. Her mother still loved her. She had a supportive family who cared for her as well and despite the risks she had friends at her school. The shadow over their family had not yet touched her. She felt lucky. Then that all had been stripped away.

Suddenly she was alone. She hoped that this was just a passing phase, a period of adjustment like her teacher had said it was. The idea that everything might return to how it had once been gave her enough faith to keep moving forward. That hadn't been enough.

Those who had once been her friends suddenly weren't. They became cruel and she didn't understand why. What had she done? They talked about how she was different from everyone else. How had she changed? She still looked the same though, she had grown a little more. They only laughed when she asked why. The the names followed and she felt her joy slipping away.

No one was there for her and this fact was hardened by the knowledge that Hiro had gone. He avoided her. Why they did meet she was never given the chance to talk. He would only say a few harsh words and then leave. Once she had reason to hope when he had lent her a movie, but that spark of light had quickly faded. He wouldn't even walk home with her anymore. It was like he was disgusted by her. The change had occurred so suddenly that she was still reeling. Had her appearance soured his feeling for her or was it something else? Had she offended him somehow? She couldn't even ask him what was wrong because he just turned away.

Apparently she had changed. Everyone began to ask her questions. They wanted to know what was wrong, if someone had hurt her. She never answered. In time her mother began to treat her differently. Her mother became more stern and it frightened her. She knew it was her fault. Despite pleas to talk she remained silent. If she were to reveal the truth would it help? Nothing could change this new reality. She had tried, but had been rebuffed each time. Who could do anything if she could not?

She allowed herself to slip away. It was easier to allow the shadow to consume her rather than to fight it. Akito had been right. No one could ever really love her because she was cursed. Even if this was her destiny it still wasn't fair. She didn't like being reminded each day just how worthless that she was though, she probably deserved to be told as much.

This is who she is now. She had accepted it. All that she could do was weather the storm alone. She needed to harden her heart. As much as she wanted something else there she had to be alone because there is no one else.


End file.
